Lame 虾 presents you LAME-tertainment!

2008-09-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

Tamil Song Titled - Dating is a Fantasy
From the Movie (Boys)

DiD u KNow?

2008-09-23T07:50:00.001-07:00

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man."

Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

No one is perfect. Practice makes perfect. So why practice in the first place?!

-------------------

Why doesn’t a vacuum cleaner have friends?
Because it sucks

Lady: "I am in the middle of the road, can you tell me how to get to the hospital?".
Policeman: "Just stay where you are and you will get there anyway."

Police: Are you not ashamed that you come to jail so often?
Robber: Why should I be sir? You also come here everyday!

Woman: Officer! There is bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry, Ma'am. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.

A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off.
"Shall I run and get it for you?" asked the prisoner obligingly.
"Do you think I am a fool" said the officer.
"You stand here, I'll get it."

aababababababaaaaababaaaaaaaaaaaa

2008-07-29T19:37:00.000-07:00

Can u guess what the title of this post is trying to say?
Long time no C!

Well, it's true, about what it says. haha!

It's been a pretty busy period for all aye? I thought i'd post some stuff before you all over-stress from assignments and tests!

But before that, here's some updates from IITSC in summary:

1. Event : "Enjoy IIT, Enjoy National Day!"
Needed : 10 sub committee members
Date : 6th and 7th AUG (LOA will be given)
DressCode: Red Top and White Bottom

Job Scope : stand around IIT concourse and ask students and staffs to write how they feel about Singapore!

Criteria:
-Outgoing
-Enthusiastic
-Friendly
-Approachable
-Willing to help till 7pm

Contact Chin Soon - chinsoon.iitsc@gmail.com

Deadline: 1st August

2. Hands Together I - Flag Day for the Down Syndrome!
Date: 16th Aug 2008
Contact Andy - 92331297- andykhoo.iitsc@gmail.com
OR Benjamin Yap - benjamin.iitsc@gmail.com

Deadline: Unknown

3. Director Cup Preliminary
Date: To Be Confirmed
Note: Registration Postponed

Contact Atiqah - atiqah.iitsc@gmail.com
OR ChinSoon- chinsoon.iitsc@gmail.com

==========

10 Signs You're a True Blue Singaporean

#1 You order chilli with everything
#2 You'll find somewhere to shop, even if you're in the middle of a desert
#3 You queue for hours (even days!) for a big sale
#4 You'd rather enrol in a slimming centre than work out to lose weight
#5 You say "lah" a lot ... and you're not even singing
#6 You have to be the first in the line at a buffet
#7 You know that "Want to buy a house together?" is boyfriend-speak for "Will you marry me?"
#8 You say something's "not bad" when it's actually quite good
#9 You let your man carry your handbag
FINALLYY....
#10 You "chope" a table at the hawker centre with a packet of tissue paper ( i know you do! dont bluff! haha.)

Familar Poem Intepretations
from the IITSC Long Cheer taken from 李白( lǐ bái)'s Poem - 静夜思 (jìnɡ yè sī)

The Chinese version
床前明月光，chuánɡ qián mínɡ yuè ɡuānɡ,
疑是地上霜。yí shì dì shànɡ shuānɡ。
举头望明月，jǔ tóu wànɡ mínɡ yuè，
低头思故乡。dī tóu sī ɡù xiānɡ 。

The full-blown version (in refined English)
The moon light is pouring down on my bedside
like white frost spreading on the ground
I look up the bright round moon in the sky
and lower my head thinking of my dear hometown

Singlish version #1
Bedfront Moon Bright Bright
Think is Floor White White
Lift Head see Moon Moon
Bow Head Miss Home Home....

Singlish version #2
Bedfront see moon moon
think is one snow snow
lift head see moon-moon
head down think home-home

Singlish version #3
Bedfront Orrr Pi Sai (pick nose)
Think Think Go Pang Sai (go shit)
Look up in the sky
Poem is a waste of time

Latest Reservist Army version
Bedfront Lauuuuu Bark Sai (Tears drop)
Think Think have to go Excercise (Reservist mobilization)
Drop dead look into the sky (Run until no breathe)
Tong Call Sia Lang Chai (My heartache nobody knows)

Have a good week ahead! Jia you guys and girls! =)
Posted by Prawn-sident
~LameXia

probably the stupidest people on earth

2008-07-25T08:07:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to the new IITSC Sub Comm 08/09

2008-07-17T04:07:00.000-07:00

Hi guys! Below is the list of shortlisted subcommittee list.

Please be reminded that there is a COMPULSORY meeting.

Date/Time: 18th July, Friday, 6.45pm
Venue: IIT Concourse (tentative)

Those that are not going, please email jolene or dave for your reasons.

Jolene (Sub com head): jolene.iitsc@gmail.com
Dave (assistant sub com head): dave.iitsc@gmail.com

IITSC main committee.

C119 Melvin Lim
C129 Kwek Chiaw Khim
C144 Joshua Tan
C144 Brian Tan
C148 Leow Wei Lin
C148 Mok Ke Xian
C148 Ryan Neo
C148 Liu Yi Ru
C149 Soon Joon Foon Nicholas
C152 Wesley Tan
C152 Yeo Kok Wei
C152 Tan Dao Rong
C153 Chan Tu Yuan, Sky
C155 Fang Lu
C156 Ang Shi Han
C156 Tan Yan Zhang Shawn (Pussy)
C156 Koh Hui Joo
C160 Tan Jia Bao
C161 Ivan Low Keat Soon
C161 Christopher Wong Xiao Di
C161 Sin Ye Sheng
C161 Gerald Lim Zhen Yang
C161 Chan Jing Yi
C162 Tay Xue Yuan
C162 Ngo Peh Keong Raymond
C163 Jamie Yusi Barutu
C163 Lui Xuan lin Adeline
C163 Kow Jianlin Colin
C163 Benjamin Lee Zhi Kai
C163 Chua Bao Lin
C164 Ang Wei Quan
C164 Danny Tan Jun Hong
C164 Lee Lee Hui Amanda
C164 Sim Hong Wee
C164 Muhd Lutfi B Abdul Asiz
C167 Nandini D/O Radha
C168 Peh Kim Leng Perry
C168 Lo Gek Sun Elaine
C168 Nur Sadrina Binte Hamzah
C168 Thoo Yun Xin Yvonne
C168 Cheryl Tan Yan Fang
C169 Lynette Lioh
C170 Law Chun Fu
C170 Foo Chuan Jie
C170 Chong Zhi Cong
C170 Levon Lau
C171 Peh Boon Kiat Jazz
C171 Guan Boon Soom
C171 Quek Yee Hao
C171 Randford Tay Yi Wei
C174 Loo Weiwen
c174 geraldine liu
C175 Eunice Chen Min Rui
C175 Tan Jie Min
C175 Ng jun wei
C177 Felicia Chia Jia Hui
C177 Choo Wei Hao
C177 Irving Lee Xiang Hui
C177 Thor Han Lin
C177 Donald Ng Guan Chao
c177 Ang Yi Xu Nelson
C179 ANG JASON
C179 Zachary Khoo
C180 lau wee you
C180 Leslie See Wen Jin
C181 Ling Pei Fen
c181 huang yufei
C182 James Fang XinJiang
C182 Tan Pin Xun
C183 Wong Xin Ni
c184 Chay MeiWei
c184 Ng Wee Yang
C185 Jasmine Ong
C185 Christine Lam
C185 Surin Yeo
C185 Goh Hian Pin Alex
C186 Saralyn Low Su Luan
C186 Ong Siew Lin
C191 Ong Liu Yuan
C191 Jonathan Mathews
C191 bernard tok zhengda
C191 Emerlyn Wun kai Xuan
C191 Chiu Shi Kang
C191 Alicia Low Wan Yi
C191 Samantha Koh Gek Pheng
C192 jasmine ang
C194 Chen Kai Li
C194 Elisha Saim
c194 jaslyn lam
c194 Chuah choon yi
C195 Satthrughan Kumar Singh
C195 Lim Li Ping Debbie
C195 Augustian
C195 Nur Syarafina Binte Momin
C195 Lim Gou Honge
C195 Tan Kong Leong
C195 Poh Zhi Qiang
C195 Ng Jun Hong
C195 Jesal Goh
C196 Lee Wee Chin
C196 Yaz Yudistira Arjna
C196 Randy chia wei chong
C196 Lew De Jun Ivor
C196 Nur Fardina Bte Ayub
C196 Yee Wei Chiuan
C196 Neo Shun Jie
C197 Nicholas Chia Jie Hao
c197 Monteiro Andrew Michael
C197 Nurhaziqah Binte Haron
C197 Loheswaran S/O Kulaganathan
C197 Siti Nurbaini Bte Abdul Hafiz
C197 Yeo Zong Ming
C197 Aiman Diniy Bin Azmi
c197 Tan Ying Ying Evangelin
c197 Koung Jian Yu
C198 Nicholas Lee Wen Chieh
C199 Larry Yong Chun Hou
C199 Chester Ong Jian Hao
C201 Desmond tay
C201 Chang Hua Peng
C203 Jeremy Lee Han Weng
C203 Kuek Xiu Quan Boris
C203 Siew Zhao Hong
C203 Wei Leong
C203 Ng Cho Aik
C203 Yuen Jing Jian Nicholas D
C203 Mohamed Farshad Bin Mohamed Ismail
C203 wee shi ming
C204 Eugene Lim Kian Hao
C204 Dickson Han Ming Guang
C204 Yeo Wee Kiat
C204 Jerven Toh
C204 Sim Yi Cong
C204 Jonathan Tan Zi Yi
C204 Rohaidah Bte Isnin
C205 Chua Qi Yang
C206 Ong Boon Peng
C206 An Lin Xin
C206 Staphni Tan
C206 Wong Yiling
C206 Lee Hwee Hoon
C207 Chen Ziqian
C207 Matthias Leow
C207 Galvin Chua
C207 Sharon Ee
C207 Ng Wei Jie
C207 Andy Kong Endi
c207 Alvan Tan wee Hong
C207 Seah Jian Cong Randy
C207 Yap Zheng Hui
C207 Jane Lee
C207 Tan Shee How Edmond
c207 Anees Aaysha D/O Abdul Waheed
c208 Nicholas AU Xian Zhu
C208 Siah Hwan Ling
C208 jonathan lee jia jie
C208 Lee Guo Wei
C208 farah erfina binte mohamad
C209 Danial Hakim B Mohd Said
c209 Tan jia yu
C210 Liu Hua Zhen
c210 marcus ong yong qiang
C210 Joycelyn Choo Le Ying
C210 Teo Gui Jie
C210 Lim Lixing
C210 Eugene Chua Wen Jun
C210 Gloria Yap
C212 Michelle Teo Min Li
C212 Muhammad Zulkarnain Bin Sadali
C213 Chia Pinjia
C213 Valenisha
C213 Harris
C213 Tong Kok Peng
c214 Donovan Tan
C214 Kevin Mark Anthony
c214 Lin Simin
C214 Clemen Ooi Wei Sheng
C214 Kear Tian Seng
C214 Guan Lin
C214 Quek ZiYan Jingle
C214 Ho Si Hui Ivy
C214 Nur Amalina Binti Rashid

NATIONAL DAY IS COMING SOOONNN

2008-07-15T05:44:00.000-07:00

COUNT ON ME SINGAPOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

hahhaas

English

2008-06-26T00:03:00.000-07:00

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP tr ouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special .

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP;

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so....... Time to shut UP!

~LameXia
Posted UP by Prawn-sident

2008-06-15T11:39:00.001-07:00

Yo...sry for the long time no updates...hahaha...cuz nobody feelin lame recently i guess...hahah...

Here is goes...the meanin of the diff number of roses...

1 Love at the first sight / you are the only one
2 Mutual feelings
3 I love you
7 I’m infatuated with you
6 Roses - I wanna be yours
9 Together as long as we live
10 You are perfect
11 You’re my treasured one
12 Be my steady / Perfect love
13 Forever friendz
15 I’m really sorry
20 I’m sincere towards you
21 I’m committed to you
24 Roses - Can’t stop thinking about you, 24 hours everyday
33 Roses - Saying “I love you” with great affection
36 I’ll remember our romantic moments
40 My love is genuine
50 Roses - Regretless love, this is
99 I’ll love you till I die
100 I’m totaly devoted to you
101 You’re my one and only
108 Will you marry me??
365 Roses - Can’t stop thinking about you, each and everyday
999 Roses - Everlasting and Eternal love
1000 Ready to open Roses’ store

Post TERM TEST DESTRESSER

2008-06-04T12:01:00.000-07:00

Woohoo!
Term Test Over liao!
Yay! Shioookkkk..

Time for more lame-ness to destress and relax! =)
----------------------------------------------------------------

A 75 yr old man got married to a young 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying. Why?
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.

Why did Muthu throw his watch into the trash bin?
He wanted to waste time.

What does Mozart do now that he is dead?
He decomposes.

Why was the Tomato blushing?
because he saw the salad dressing

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
What's the difference between a fly and mosquito?
A mosquito can FLY but a fly cant MOSQUITO.

An ant knocks the door of a HDB flat. House owner opens the door. "I want a place to stay", said the ant . "I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost", said the owner. Ant went inside and occupied that vacant room. After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested the owner "Can you please allow this ant to stay along with me". "Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent" said the owner. After some days the ant brought one more ant and requested the owner to allow that ant to stay with it. Owner agreed to it without asking for any rent. This continued i.e ant brings in one more ant and owner agrees for it. On one fine day, the ant brought in tenth ant and requested the owner to allow that tenth ant also to stay with it. The owner said "Ok, you all can stay here but you need to pay rent". Now the question is Why did the owner ask for rent when the tenth ant came in?

Because they are now Tenants (Ten ants)

Guess a shoe brand: Cow in north pole (sorry peeps, this one's in chinese)
New balance ( nu bei leng si)

Osama, Bush , Blair and Saddam play mahjong. Who will win first ?
Saddam Hu Xian (Hussein)

Every night, Xiao Ming's mum will tuck him into bed. And whenever he asks her to cover him with the blanket, his mum will scold him and slap him, why?
"Ma, na bei"

~LameXia
Posted by Prawn-sident

2008-05-31T07:59:00.000-07:00

and time for more jokes heh
=================================================================================

1
There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, "ATTENTION ALL" and farts loudly.

The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says" Excuse me, you just farted before my wife."

The drunks replies," I'm sorry I didn't know it was her turn."

=================================================================================

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period.
How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!"

====================================================================================

Trying to make up for bad behavior, Bill Clinton went to the shopping mall to buy Hillary a gift. "I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife," he says eyeing the attractive salesgirl, "but I don't know her size."

"Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his. "Oh, yes," he answered. "Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours." "Will there be anything else?" the salesgirl inquired, as she wrapped the gloves. "Now that you mention it," Bill replied, "she also needs a bra and panties."

====================================================================================

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST DEALS.' He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST PRICES.' The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read... 'MAIN ENTRANCE'

====================================================================================

The Proof That Marriage Reverses Everything

Before Marriage:

Guy: Oh yes! I been waiting for this moment! (Whatever this moment is, we care not to say)
Gal: Will you ever leave me?
Guy: No! Don't even think about it!
Gal: Do you love me?
Guy: Definitely! Over and over again!
Gal: Have you ever cheated on me?
Guy: No! Why are even asking me that?
Gal: Will you kiss me?
Guy: Every moment I get
Gal: Will you hit me?
Guy: ARE YOU CRAZY? I'm not that kind of person
Gal: Can I trust you?
Guy: Yes...
Gal: Oh darling~

After marriage:

Just read everything from bottom to top...

And this concludes that marriage does reverse people's lives, so don't get married! Just have unwed sex and have single mums and dads~

=====================================================================================

posted by yours truly ---> Colin - stalking prawn

2008-05-30T08:19:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for participating in the student elections 08/09!

Congratulations to the new main committee of IITSC!
Melinda: President with 195 votes! =))
Berlinda: Vice President with 191 votes! =))
Desmond
Jolene
Ahmad
Dave
Katherine
Marcus
Atiqah
Mario
Kang Yan
Benjamin Yap
Coburn
Chin Soon
Andy

Even though I may not have entered the main committee, I still do feel that I can and want to do something for IITSC, my heart is still there.
To bond IITSC as one spirit one voice. I really hope that we will continue to grow strong in spirit and not let our hearts die down.

I really want to challenge this committee of AY08/09 to not be afraid of taking risks and to step out of comfort zones when necessary, take up challenges and be confident. Let us all stand out of TP and not blend in!

If there is anything you all need, just let me know, I'm here to support everyone of you. In times where there is a lacking for something, things seem to go out of hand, I will support any one of you, you can count on me. Though I am not part of the main committee and hold no power and position, I will continuously help you guys out to help bring IITSC to places where it has never been before. sacrifice is what I can offer if you let me lead and be the team player to provide motivation, encouragement, support, care and more.

May this committee lead IITSC to greater heights!

P.S. If you all got things or new "post" for me to take on, do ask me k! =))

"IITSC, One Big Family!"

2008-05-28T06:48:00.000-07:00

Ah Beng - NEW STUFF
********************

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said, 'My Mobile
No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
=====================================================

Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
=====================================================

Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
=====================================================

Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
=====================================================

Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U
have come again.
=====================================================

Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing, except
the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How come the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'
=====================================================

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'
=====================================================

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher
erases the board.
=====================================================

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather
forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other
hand it would be hot.
=====================================================

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
=====================================================

Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
=====================================================

Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
=====================================================

Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'
=====================================================

A man: Why Ahmad Badawi goes walking
in the Evening and not in the morning
Ah Beng: Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

Posted by the Vice Prawn-sident

VOTE RYAN NEO FOR IITSC MAIN COMM!

2008-05-23T09:24:00.000-07:00

LAUGHTER THE BEST MEDICINE

2008-05-21T20:32:00.000-07:00

Why is a fish cunning ?
cos yu pian mi fen (actual: fish bee hoon)

Ah bao was murdered! however the police quickly found the killer.. who is it?
Dou Sa Bao

What's a panda biggest wish on earth?
Taking colour photo

Which brand of shampoo is the wealthiest?
"Lux" Super Rich

Why is superman's shirt so tight?
cos he's wearing size S
Why is batman's shirt also very tight?
cos he asked superman to buy one for him..
Why is spiderman's shirt also very tight?
cos buy 2 get 1 free and superman gave one extra one to spiderman....

Char Siew Pao and Mee Kia got involved in an argument.
Char Siew Pao got very angry and shouted at Mee Kia,
"I'm going to find my gang to hantam you!"
So Char Siew Pao went to round up Leng Yong Pau and Tau Sar Pow.
Just then, Maggi Mee walked around the corner.
Immediately, the Paos started to beat him up.
As Char Siew Pao was punching Maggi Mee, he shouted,
"Don't think just because you perm your hair, we can't recognize you, ok!"

Char Siew Pao and Man Tou went to watch a movie. During the movie, Char Siew Pao kept crying but Man Tou just watched on. Why is Man Tou like that?
Cos Char Siew Pao got feeling(filling) but Man Tou no feeling(filling) mah!

NAMES OF WIVES
A man had 4 wives, and he called his
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !

~brought to you by the prawn-sident
LAME XIA

so gals... dun irritate ur husband when he is drivin next time... ^^

2008-05-21T04:14:00.000-07:00

Enjoy... rare to find...

The wife is busy frying eggs, when her husband comes home.

He walks into the kitchen and immediately starts yelling:

"CAREFUL!!! CAREFUL!!! MORE OIL!!!
TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM NOW!!!
WE NEED MORE OIL!!! THEY ARE GOING TO STICK!!!
CAREFUL!!! CAREFUL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM!!!
HURRY UP!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!!! THE OIL IS GOING TO SPILL!!!
USE MORE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!!"

The wife is very upset:
"What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you yelling like this?
Do you think I don't know how to fry an egg?"

The husband calmly replies:
"This is to show you what it feels like, when I am driving and you sit next to me."

LOL..!
POSTED BY THE PRAW3N...

2008-05-16T07:15:00.000-07:00

HI...back here for some new post...hahaha....here it goes~~~

when the british fart in a bus,
they will say "pardon me"
when the australians fart in a bus,
they will say "sorry, mate"
when the americans fart in a bus,
they will say "excuse me"
but when singaporeans fart in a bus,
they will say "NOT ME NOT ME!!!"

Q.Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A.Because he/she had no guts!

Q.How do you catch a squirrel?
A.Climb into a tree and act like a nut...

Q.What do you call a sleeping cow?
A. A bulldozer

Q.Why can't skeletons play church music?
A.They don't have any organs

Posted by vice prawn-sident

NUN and BUTCHER...

2008-05-13T05:26:00.000-07:00

Once... there was a nun and a butcher...

the nun wakes up early in the mornin evryday to meditate while
the butcher wakes up early in the mornin evryday to slaughter pigs...

so... being gd.. the nun wakes the butcher up evry mornin and in return...
the butcher also wakes the nun up to meditate...

and yrs lata...
both of them passed away...
BUT however... the butcher went up to heaven while the nun went straight to hell to suffer..

Y IS TT SO?

because the nun wakes the butcher up evry mornin to slaugher pigs and tts a sin...
and the butcher wakes the nun up evry mornin to meditate and tts a deed... ^^
and sinners go to hell...while gd ppl goes to heaven... lols...

got frm my freshie heh!

POSTED BY THE PRAW3N....

If you free the birds you give good luck

2008-05-12T06:23:00.001-07:00

100 birds for lame prawns and all its fans and viewers!

Hmmm... imagine if you free the prawns... what will happen man...

Lame xia!

Posted by Prawn-sident

2008-05-10T23:46:00.000-07:00

PRAWN-ZILLA ON THE LOOSE RUN FOR UR LIVES!!!!!

tts y i nva wanna b a teacher..! kids nowadays...

2008-05-10T21:33:00.000-07:00

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
MUTHU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
MUTHU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

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TEACHER : MUTHU, go to the map and find North America.
MUTHU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : MUTHU!

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TEACHER : MUTHU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
MUTHU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
MUTHU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

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TEACHER : MUTHU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
MUTHU : I is...
TEACHER : No, MUTHU. Always say, "I am."
MUTHU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

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TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
MUTHU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, sametime."

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TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
MUTHU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

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MUTHU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
MUTHU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

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TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green andone is blue with red spots !
MUTHU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

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TEACHER : Now, MUTHU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
MUTHU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

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TEACHER : MUTHU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as yourbrother's. Did you copy his ?
MUTHU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !

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TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
MUTHU: A teacher...

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hahas now peeps out there who wanna b a teacher... do u still wan if ur students r like tt? ^^ lols...

POSTED BY THE PRAW3n...

2008-05-10T08:21:00.000-07:00

Q:
There's one hundred people weighing 100kg each in a submarine.
Why did the submarine sink?

A:Because submarines are meant to be submerged
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Q:
One day, a matchstick feels his head damn itchy so he scratch it furiously and suddenly *POOF* , his head burst into a flame! "NBCB!!", he started cursing. He was then admitted to the hospital. So now, guess what he became when he was discharged the next day?

Ans: Cotton bud lor. Whole head bandaged mah.
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Q: why is vivo city so big

Ans:because got giant
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Q: why is parkway parade not as big

Ans:because giant not as big
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Once upon a time, there lived a green man in a green house which was in a green district. One day while he was bathing, a female friend of his came round to visit and rang the doorbell. Upon hearing his doorbell, the green man hastily wrapped a towel round himself and went to open the door. At that moment, he accidentally dropped his towel and his friend screamed in shock. Still screaming, she ran off and got knocked down when she dashed across a road. She died, the end.

What is the moral of the story?

Ans: NEVER cross the road when the green man is flashing.
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Q1:
If this :

-------------------->

Is superman,

What is this?

<------------------- Ans:Superman returns!

Q2:
One day, Batman and Superman had a race. In the end, Superman won. How come?

Ans:Cause when batman begins,Superman returns.

Posted by the Humble Vice Prawn-sident

2008-05-09T04:14:00.000-07:00

A Picture Speaks a thousand words

boon arrives....with a knife?

and a little bonus....adeline in ah beng mode?

2008-05-08T04:16:00.000-07:00

Here is a smelly joke...hahaha...enjoy~~~

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score." After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7."

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and say, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says,"Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14."

Now the pressure's on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains really hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he soils the bed.

The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"

The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides".

The 3 Brothers

2008-05-06T05:05:00.001-07:00

(sry for not finishin the post ytd...dint noe tat i missed out the last part...hahaha...have filled in the last part alrdy...)

Hi...here goes ur daily does of lame jokes~~~hahaha....enjoy...

Once upon a time, got 3 brothers went into the jungle and search for some foods, but they were lost and met a hungry tiger. The tiger is very hungry and want to eat them up. These brothers keep begging the tiger dun eat them and then the tiger came out with a condition

Tiger: "i am very hungry, inorder for me not to eat u, go to the jungle and collect 10 fruits of the same kind, and if i am happy with it i will let u go"
So these brothers went into the jungle to find for the fruits

First bro came back with 10 rambutans and pass it to the tiger
and tiger said : "stuff all this rambutans into your ass and if u do not laugh i will let u go"
but when he started to put the first rambutan into his ass, he started laughing as the rambutan is too hairy and the tiger ate him up
Here comes the second bro
He bought back 10 longans, and same he start stuffing the longans into his ass
When he is stuffing the last longan, he laughed and the tiger ate him up
So in heaven, the first bro asked the second bro: " why u laughed, u already stuffing the last longan already"

Second bro: " i laughed because i saw third brother came back with 10 DURIANS"

HA.... HA.... HA....

2008-05-05T05:35:00.000-07:00

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, I walked down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watched him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that your daughter can reach to get water is the toilet bowl?'

===========================================================

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.

After several drinks, one the men had to use the rest room.

Those who remained talked about their kids.

The 1st guy said: 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder.

He is now the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'

The 2nd guy said: 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy.
He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He is so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'

The 3rd man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday - a 30,000 square foot mansion.'

The 3 friends congratulated each other just as the 4th returned from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?'

One of the 3 said: 'We were just talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ..... What about your son?'

The 4th man replied: 'Oh, my son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'

The 3 friends said: 'What a shame ..... What a disappointment.'

The 4th man replied: 'No! I am not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.

He hasn't done too badly either. His birthday was 2 weeks ago and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his 3 boyfriends.' .
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2008-05-05T04:17:00.000-07:00

Ok...back for more updates...this time round its shorter...its the continuous of the ah beng joke...jus tat this 1 focus more on ah lian...hahaha...enjoy~~~

Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place to show
it to her.

So there Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new car to
his girlfriend.

"This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!"
"Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!" said Ah Lian.
"Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!"
So Ah Lian said, "Let me try! I wan, I wan!"
So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and floored the
accelerator.

The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the lamp-post.
"Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo! U see lah! Wah Piang eh!"
screamed Ah Beng.
"Solee, solee, pai sah lah! No lah, I tot hor, "R" for racing mah!"

###########################################

One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey and wanted to
get down to the ground floor.
As they looked at the dial, they could see the number 20 down to number
2.

It was then followed by a G.
As they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and had no idea
what does the letter G mean.
Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G.
When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so
impressed and asked the first Ah Lian,"Wah low!!!
How you know one?"
The first Ah Lian replied smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."

2008-05-03T23:19:00.001-07:00

Time for some ah beng jokes.(Warning long reading ahead...hahaha...)
-------------------------------------

Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed Lah !

-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop. Ah Beng : "Do
you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please"

-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job. He supplied
the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc. Then he
comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes " Yes"

-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"
The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
Boss : "What does it do ?"
Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"

-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares
it with the original for spelling mistakes.

-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks
his picture is being taken.

-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Why can't Ah Beng dial 911? Because he can't find the number 11
(eleven) on the phone.

-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it. When he
encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' command
after some tries. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the
computer retailer for support. Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help
lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me
Lah ?!"

-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked
him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and
the phone ring, lah - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally
picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear, lah"
"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to the other ear ?" Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"

-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU , lah"
AND PUTS DOWN THE
PHONE.

-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite
some time,
Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS
WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS".

-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the
bartender,
"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS,
SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?" Ah
Beng replies: "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"

2008-05-03T23:08:00.000-07:00

Here is some all time stupid jokes c if u can guess it...the ans will b below...

Q1Part1-
Which type of noodle is the heaviest?

Q1Part2-
Who is the strongest man?

Q2Part1-
When a plane is out of fuel what drops first?

Q2Part2-
One day, an old lady was crossing the road. Then she suddenly look up and saw something then screamed "WAH!". Next thing she knew, she was knocked down. How did she die?

Q1P1 - Wan tan mee (One ton mee).

Q1P2 - The uncle who cooks wan tan mee.

Q2P1 - The fuel indicator needle.

Q2P2 - The plane crashed into her.

2008-05-03T11:07:00.001-07:00

2008-05-03T10:46:00.000-07:00

Listen very carefully.. Here are the words he says:
Hi I'm Selling my house!
You like it? It's clean and green with 3 huge rooms!
the bathroom's over there!
the kitchen's over there!
this is my beudeeefooommm bammthroom!
check out my matching pipes!
Want to see more? call this number...

For all those who like the other one too, here's it. enjoy! =DD

We love to search buy sell and connect! We love mocca! hahahax. XD

2008-05-03T10:42:00.000-07:00

Words from our members

"i no money i dun care... "

"Hi! i'm selling my house... "

"i dont look like colin!"

GUESS WHO! hahah

WELCOME TO LAME XIA!

2008-05-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow readers! Welcome!

We are lame people recruiting lame people!

Currently we're still under construction. Do check back soon!

Qn: What do you call a prawn that can't walk?